Things you learn when lost on a mountain (and after)

• Just because you’re going to Deia doesn’t mean the hikers you’re following are.
• You do need a hat… no matter how bad you look in hats, you need one.
• Proper hiking boots are not a gimmick created by shoe companies to take your money.
• Those walking sticks that look like ski poles that you quietly laugh at on normal hiking trails, you will covet when walking up a mountain.
• You will covet them far more when walking down the mountain.
• On the way down the mountain you will wish you’d bought those hiking boots that were too expensive, and you will also realize that down is harder than up.
• You should have brought food.
• You REALLY should have eaten a proper breakfast.
• A liter and a half of water is not enough.
• Thank God for the cheap tourist chocolate with almonds in it you bought to shut the clerk up and as your emergency candy/snack.
• Knees are not a forgiving joint.
• Yes, it can go up much further
• Yes, it can be much longer
• Yes, you can keep going
• Do not look at the map and wish that the hike to Deia took you past the amazing scenic lookouts at the top of the mountain the way that other trail does… you will find yourself at those scenic lookouts with no idea how to get to Deia.
• There is nothing more amazing than being at the top of a mountain and having gotten there on your own steam. It is worth being lost on top of a mountain, just to be on top of the mountain.
• I was IN a CLOUD.
• Dude! Did you not hear me? I was IN A CLOUD!
• If you follow the hiking trail and the hikers you will eventually wind up somewhere… just not Deia.
• If you decide that you will be somewhere at 6 p.m. you will be. But not Deia.
• Hiking for 6 hours on a mountain is tiring.
• Valldemossa does not improve with repetition.
• If you’re not hungry after six hours on a mountain it’s only because you’ve hit that point where your mind is no longer conveying messages like hunger, so you might as well order the cheapest thing on the menu because you won’t taste it anyway and what you need is the calories and the protein.
• You cannot in fact get blisters on top of blisters no matter what it feels like.
• You should be completely exhausted and fall into an unconscious sleep for at least ten hours
• Insomnia has no respect for should.